Stressed OUT!!!!!!!

Ok most of you that know me...know that I'm a organized perfectionist who worries and stresses about EVERYTHING. Now when you add something like a WEDDING into the mix...well my little brain can barely handle it. Even if I had a wedding planner I would stress...actually I would stress more because I was not in control of every detail. I pretty much have every detail down to wedding favors figured out. Now the stress and worry of paying for it all comes...and then when and what should I pay for first. It sucks working more the one job and then having to sacrafice sooo much for ONE day. If it was up to me I would be perfectly happy to elope :)

Secondly, I never ever ever thought I would be someone that would have a $20k wedding...little alone $10k...I can't believe I ever thought I could have a wedding for less then $5k...haha....oh how I laugh at myself now. Of course MOST girls don't have to worry about money when it comes to wedding costs because they have parents that take care of that....well unfortunately I don't. I'm not bitter or angry about it at all though...actually I know once all is done and over I'll be proud knowing that me and James sacrificed and budgeted for this. I'm just hoping that I enjoy this time as much as possible and STOP worrying and stressing so much about it. Worry comes from the Devil and I don't want to give him any satisfaction or take away any of my happiness during these short special months.

Anyways, it has just been a hard weekend. With yesterday not going how I planned it and stress over money, my hours cut at my full time job, living at home, and ect ect. Then, James has been gone to Nashville all week and I just freaking HATE it when he's there without me. I could NEVER do a long distant relationship...it would never work out. I have just felt all alone this weekend and I hate that feeling. So ya...I've been locked in my room all weekend...feeling sorry for myself...haha...I know...I know....pathetic...lol. Well I hope everyone else had a better weekend then I did...

Christmas and the NOT so perfect day...

So where to begin...it has been a while since I've last blogged. So lets start with Christmas!!! It was a bitter sweet Christmas this year. First Christmas without my dad and James was in Nashville on Christmas day so I missed him. However, I got to pick up Michelle in Little Rock on Christmas morning and I got to spend Christmas Eve with James family. It was a long Christmas and I'm just glad its over...haha...ready for a fresh new year to begin! :)

Anyways, here are some pictures of MY family's Christmas at my grandparents...

My super cute cousin Jewel!

Here's Jewel and James waiting to open presents...they just can't wait!!!

Jewel got a Polly Pocket from her Aunt Karen :)

My mom loved her diamond Citizen watch I got her!

Say CHEESE James :) !!! Haha....

So I also won a wreath at our company Christmas party....

Ok so about my NOT so perfect day...well today all my bridesmaids were suppose to get together and find dresses. Well to begin with one of my bridesmaids didn't feel well to come. Then another one couldn't make it on time because of the rain we had today....and THEN our first stop was closed because of the Holidays. So I felt pretty defeated at that point. We decided to go to Dillard's and we didn't really find much..but we did find this cute purple dress...



Then we decided to go to Mi Lady in Springdale....BIG MISTAKE! For starters its very unorganized. Then, the owner Dwayne is the one helping us...which let me tell you he looks like a truck driver or something...check out the pictures with him... Anyways, he kept calling us honey and sweetie and looking through the sheer dressing room curtians at the girls and helping them with their dresses. Then he treated one of my bridesmaid like a HIPPO just because she wasn't a size 2 like the other girls. He was a creepo and I'll never go back....BUT we did find a dress that I really like a lot...but I'll be buying it online or at another place. Check out some of the ugly and some cute bridesmaid dresses....oh and creepo Dwayne...

Ok so the winner of the day was...NOTHING...ya we didn't find anything...but thankfully I have plenty of time still :)

Christmas is almost here!

So we have like 4 days till Christmas...wow! Thankfully I'm done with all the shopping and wrapping. This coming week is going to be busy though. I'm leaving for Nashville with James on Tuesday and then driving back on Christmas day to be with my family...and picking my friend up in Little Rock along the way! Then I am starting my part time job Friday....ugh. Saturday all of my bridesmaids and me will be going shopping for their dresses. Lastly James birthday is on the 30th so I need to plan on doing something special for him. Busy busy busy....

After the Holidays are over I think that wedding planning will begin to be in full gear. By March though it I should have everything paid for and planned out such as caterer, honeymoon, dress, and photographer. So really the only things I have left to work out will be invitations, wedding programs, flowers, reception decor, and wedding day misc. I'm glad I got a early start because now I won't be stressing months before the wedding to get things done. I never knew there was so many things to do and plan for just ONE day...haha. I know it will all be worth it on that special day! I just can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm already pass wedding planning though...because lately I've been buying tons of stuff for our future house...so now I'm on decorating our home...which we don't even have...lol. I'm crazy like that....haha...at least I'm not buying baby stuff yet. He he he....

Ok, so I was thinking...with New Years right around the corner...what will be my 2009 resolutions??? I really want to set goals for myself this year and stick to them!!!!!!!

Lastly....I've been looking at some bridesmaid dresses I like...so this is what I've been thinking...something short and cute like this....

They're here....woohoo!!!!!!!!!

Pictures!!!

Well I just got back from Calotype...and OMG I love our engagement pictures!!! Julie did such an AMAZING job! I can't post them yet until she sends them to me...which she "said" tonight or tomorrow morning she would have them sent to me!!! Yay!!! So as soon as she does I'll have them on here. My mom came with me and James and it helped having her opinion...we had so many to choose from and we only could get 4 poses with the package we bought...so it was HARD!!! I wanted to look at them all night...and probably would have if I could of...haha...

James brother Josh is flying in to XNA tonight so he'll be here till tomorrow when his dad can come pick him up. It'll be nice to see them both...especially since James dad hasn't been to Fayetteville since the year he left James for college...ya...a LONG time ago! I'm ready to see his family though for Christmas...it'll be nice to spend it with my future in-laws. I also get to see Michelle on Christmas day and have a nice little road trip!!! Yay!!! Can't wait for all the Christmas festivities!

Biggest Loser Finale Tonight!!!!!!!

So who do you think is going to win??? I know all of us are wanting Michelle!!! Vicky is going to try her hardest though to win that money...since we all know thats why she really is on the show. Not to lose weight or be a good example to her children....ugh...I hope she loses!!! Besides no matter how much weight she has loss she still has those thunder thighs. OMG...I'm so mean :)

Anywho...speaking of weight...I've been on the Lipo 6 for a week now...and I'm scared to weigh in. I don't think I'm losing any...and its depressing...especially when you are dieting and ALWAYS hungry. That's my problem...I am a fast food junkie and I don't know how NOT to be. This is why I want to be healthy and teach my children the importance of nutrition and health. When I was growing up dinner was 9 times out of 10 from a drive thru window. I can even remember going and getting donuts EVERY morning with my mom when I was like 5. Happy Days!!! Haha...well...maybe I'll weigh today and see if I've lost any...if I do...I'll post it...but if I don't...well it won't be mentioned...lol.

300 days till we get married...

Haha...yes I'm still counting down...and will be for...well 300 more days...lol! I can't believe only 11 more days till Christmas...wow...BUT I finished ALL my Christmas shopping and I'm so excited about that. What a relief! I wrapped a million gifts last night and worked on some of my paintings. I think tonight I'm going to take it easy and prepare all my meals for the upcoming week. This diet is pretty easy to follow when you have everything prepared and you can just grab it and go. My trainer told me to also take Lipo 6 for Hers to help the whole weight loss process...

I've read the reviews for these diet pills and there not all that great...haha...but we'll see. I'll take them for a month and see if there's any difference. At $50 for a month supply these jokers better work!

Well anyways, back to my paintings I'm working on...I have 3 projects going and one of them is almost done, one is done but I don't like it, and the other is completely messed up and I don't want to finish it because I'm a perfectionist and this painting is ANYTHING but perfect looking. I'll definitely post pictures when I'm finished with them.

Today, my church had their annuel Christmas program. It was really good and even though I'm sad they no longer do the living Christmas tree I really did enjoy this one. I used to be so involved in actually helping setup decorations and be apart of it...I was sad I wasn't this year BUT next year I'm going to make it a priority to help out. I can't wait till I can get off Sundays at work. Thankfully I don't have to come in till 11 but still I'm missing a lot and I hate that I can't stay after church and visit with people and go to Sunday school class.

Also, please everyone pray for my mom...she is still looking for a job and really hasn't found any prospects yet. This time of the year is just the worst to be looking for a job. I'm hoping after the 1st of the year positions will come available somewhere. It really makes me thankful for such a great job.