Frustrated and bored...

I swear today has been the most boring day. My life feels boring right now even haha. I'm frustrated with myself as well. I got myself into invitation hell. I ate my weight in Easter candy tonight. I spent too much money this month already. I'm unmotivated to work out. Blahhh!!! Oh and I'm actually tearing up on this stupid Hills episode. I'm pathetic. I feel like I'm in a rut. This is going to be one of those random and talk about nothing in particular kind of postings.

It doesn't help when the weather for the past week has been COLD and RAINY. Or that 99.9% of your friends have moved away or in school and too busy to do anything with you. I miss having girl nights, college life, and hanging with the girls all day. My life consists of work and sleep...and lately a lot of pigging out to fill the emptiness. I sound like I'm depressed...huh??? Haha...I'm not at all. I just am missing my friends and I'm ready for them all to be back in the summer. I need a life.

I'm stuck in limbo. Not married but soon to be. Not single care free in college but not tied down married with children either. This has definitely been the most life changing period of my life. Getting married. Deciding what I want to do the rest of my life. Going from being in school to working full time. Becoming an adult!!!

So much is going on lately as well. Getting this wedding planned. Getting it paid for. Getting James back into school again and soon to be me as well. Trying to find a place to live soon. Still dealing with my fathers death. Anxious and worried about my brothers life. I'm trying not to worry about that because I know everything happens for a reason and God WILL take care of him but when he is hurting I am hurting. I want him to have the best life and meet the perfect christian woman and have the family he's always wanted. How could he let such an evil manipulative person in his life and in a instant change his whole life. I pray for this person for its the only way I can let it go and not hate her. She will never be happy in her life and she will always try to bring others down with her. This is why its heart wrenching to know that my brother could possibly be involved in her life for the rest of his life. Knowing this tears me up inside. She has no idea what harm she has done to my family and caused broken friendships. It saddens me that people believe this person...but at the same time there is nothing I can do about it. In the end...I feel sorry for her.

Ok, enough about that. So I swear we're having an epidemic of pregnant and engaged woman at work. Kinda strange. If you don't want to be either of those you better shy away from JB Hun'ts CDP floor. Haha! OH and can I say...I'm so freaking sick of all these people getting engaged lately and all after me and ALL getting married before me. I swear me and James must be having the longest known engagement. Psh oh well...such is life. I tend to be always be behind.

Ok well if your still reading this you must be as bored as I was writing this. I need to go to bed. I have to get up at 3 a.m. to do a paper route. Oh and I can promise you me and James have to be the most hard working couple I've ever know. I don't think I know anyone that has worked as hard as us to pay for their own wedding...and when I say us...I mostly mean James...because he works way harder then I do. Thank God for him. I love you James!!! I'm so lucky to have such a hard working man and future husband. I can't stand to see these married so called men who don't work and still depend on mommy and daddy to pay for all their bills. Pathetic!