Stressed OUT!!!!!!!

Ok most of you that know me...know that I'm a organized perfectionist who worries and stresses about EVERYTHING. Now when you add something like a WEDDING into the mix...well my little brain can barely handle it. Even if I had a wedding planner I would stress...actually I would stress more because I was not in control of every detail. I pretty much have every detail down to wedding favors figured out. Now the stress and worry of paying for it all comes...and then when and what should I pay for first. It sucks working more the one job and then having to sacrafice sooo much for ONE day. If it was up to me I would be perfectly happy to elope :)

Secondly, I never ever ever thought I would be someone that would have a $20k wedding...little alone $10k...I can't believe I ever thought I could have a wedding for less then $5k...haha....oh how I laugh at myself now. Of course MOST girls don't have to worry about money when it comes to wedding costs because they have parents that take care of that....well unfortunately I don't. I'm not bitter or angry about it at all though...actually I know once all is done and over I'll be proud knowing that me and James sacrificed and budgeted for this. I'm just hoping that I enjoy this time as much as possible and STOP worrying and stressing so much about it. Worry comes from the Devil and I don't want to give him any satisfaction or take away any of my happiness during these short special months.

Anyways, it has just been a hard weekend. With yesterday not going how I planned it and stress over money, my hours cut at my full time job, living at home, and ect ect. Then, James has been gone to Nashville all week and I just freaking HATE it when he's there without me. I could NEVER do a long distant relationship...it would never work out. I have just felt all alone this weekend and I hate that feeling. So ya...I've been locked in my room all weekend...feeling sorry for myself...haha...I know...I know....pathetic...lol. Well I hope everyone else had a better weekend then I did...