Stressed OUT!!!!!!!

Ok most of you that know me...know that I'm a organized perfectionist who worries and stresses about EVERYTHING. Now when you add something like a WEDDING into the mix...well my little brain can barely handle it. Even if I had a wedding planner I would stress...actually I would stress more because I was not in control of every detail. I pretty much have every detail down to wedding favors figured out. Now the stress and worry of paying for it all comes...and then when and what should I pay for first. It sucks working more the one job and then having to sacrafice sooo much for ONE day. If it was up to me I would be perfectly happy to elope :)

Secondly, I never ever ever thought I would be someone that would have a $20k wedding...little alone $10k...I can't believe I ever thought I could have a wedding for less then $5k...haha....oh how I laugh at myself now. Of course MOST girls don't have to worry about money when it comes to wedding costs because they have parents that take care of that....well unfortunately I don't. I'm not bitter or angry about it at all though...actually I know once all is done and over I'll be proud knowing that me and James sacrificed and budgeted for this. I'm just hoping that I enjoy this time as much as possible and STOP worrying and stressing so much about it. Worry comes from the Devil and I don't want to give him any satisfaction or take away any of my happiness during these short special months.

Anyways, it has just been a hard weekend. With yesterday not going how I planned it and stress over money, my hours cut at my full time job, living at home, and ect ect. Then, James has been gone to Nashville all week and I just freaking HATE it when he's there without me. I could NEVER do a long distant relationship...it would never work out. I have just felt all alone this weekend and I hate that feeling. So ya...I've been locked in my room all weekend...feeling sorry for myself...haha...I know...I know....pathetic...lol. Well I hope everyone else had a better weekend then I did...

Christmas and the NOT so perfect day...

So where to begin...it has been a while since I've last blogged. So lets start with Christmas!!! It was a bitter sweet Christmas this year. First Christmas without my dad and James was in Nashville on Christmas day so I missed him. However, I got to pick up Michelle in Little Rock on Christmas morning and I got to spend Christmas Eve with James family. It was a long Christmas and I'm just glad its over...haha...ready for a fresh new year to begin! :)

Anyways, here are some pictures of MY family's Christmas at my grandparents...

My super cute cousin Jewel!

Here's Jewel and James waiting to open presents...they just can't wait!!!

Jewel got a Polly Pocket from her Aunt Karen :)

My mom loved her diamond Citizen watch I got her!

Say CHEESE James :) !!! Haha....

So I also won a wreath at our company Christmas party....

Ok so about my NOT so perfect day...well today all my bridesmaids were suppose to get together and find dresses. Well to begin with one of my bridesmaids didn't feel well to come. Then another one couldn't make it on time because of the rain we had today....and THEN our first stop was closed because of the Holidays. So I felt pretty defeated at that point. We decided to go to Dillard's and we didn't really find much..but we did find this cute purple dress...



Then we decided to go to Mi Lady in Springdale....BIG MISTAKE! For starters its very unorganized. Then, the owner Dwayne is the one helping us...which let me tell you he looks like a truck driver or something...check out the pictures with him... Anyways, he kept calling us honey and sweetie and looking through the sheer dressing room curtians at the girls and helping them with their dresses. Then he treated one of my bridesmaid like a HIPPO just because she wasn't a size 2 like the other girls. He was a creepo and I'll never go back....BUT we did find a dress that I really like a lot...but I'll be buying it online or at another place. Check out some of the ugly and some cute bridesmaid dresses....oh and creepo Dwayne...

Ok so the winner of the day was...NOTHING...ya we didn't find anything...but thankfully I have plenty of time still :)

Christmas is almost here!

So we have like 4 days till Christmas...wow! Thankfully I'm done with all the shopping and wrapping. This coming week is going to be busy though. I'm leaving for Nashville with James on Tuesday and then driving back on Christmas day to be with my family...and picking my friend up in Little Rock along the way! Then I am starting my part time job Friday....ugh. Saturday all of my bridesmaids and me will be going shopping for their dresses. Lastly James birthday is on the 30th so I need to plan on doing something special for him. Busy busy busy....

After the Holidays are over I think that wedding planning will begin to be in full gear. By March though it I should have everything paid for and planned out such as caterer, honeymoon, dress, and photographer. So really the only things I have left to work out will be invitations, wedding programs, flowers, reception decor, and wedding day misc. I'm glad I got a early start because now I won't be stressing months before the wedding to get things done. I never knew there was so many things to do and plan for just ONE day...haha. I know it will all be worth it on that special day! I just can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm already pass wedding planning though...because lately I've been buying tons of stuff for our future house...so now I'm on decorating our home...which we don't even have...lol. I'm crazy like that....haha...at least I'm not buying baby stuff yet. He he he....

Ok, so I was thinking...with New Years right around the corner...what will be my 2009 resolutions??? I really want to set goals for myself this year and stick to them!!!!!!!

Lastly....I've been looking at some bridesmaid dresses I like...so this is what I've been thinking...something short and cute like this....

They're here....woohoo!!!!!!!!!

Pictures!!!

Well I just got back from Calotype...and OMG I love our engagement pictures!!! Julie did such an AMAZING job! I can't post them yet until she sends them to me...which she "said" tonight or tomorrow morning she would have them sent to me!!! Yay!!! So as soon as she does I'll have them on here. My mom came with me and James and it helped having her opinion...we had so many to choose from and we only could get 4 poses with the package we bought...so it was HARD!!! I wanted to look at them all night...and probably would have if I could of...haha...

James brother Josh is flying in to XNA tonight so he'll be here till tomorrow when his dad can come pick him up. It'll be nice to see them both...especially since James dad hasn't been to Fayetteville since the year he left James for college...ya...a LONG time ago! I'm ready to see his family though for Christmas...it'll be nice to spend it with my future in-laws. I also get to see Michelle on Christmas day and have a nice little road trip!!! Yay!!! Can't wait for all the Christmas festivities!

Biggest Loser Finale Tonight!!!!!!!

So who do you think is going to win??? I know all of us are wanting Michelle!!! Vicky is going to try her hardest though to win that money...since we all know thats why she really is on the show. Not to lose weight or be a good example to her children....ugh...I hope she loses!!! Besides no matter how much weight she has loss she still has those thunder thighs. OMG...I'm so mean :)

Anywho...speaking of weight...I've been on the Lipo 6 for a week now...and I'm scared to weigh in. I don't think I'm losing any...and its depressing...especially when you are dieting and ALWAYS hungry. That's my problem...I am a fast food junkie and I don't know how NOT to be. This is why I want to be healthy and teach my children the importance of nutrition and health. When I was growing up dinner was 9 times out of 10 from a drive thru window. I can even remember going and getting donuts EVERY morning with my mom when I was like 5. Happy Days!!! Haha...well...maybe I'll weigh today and see if I've lost any...if I do...I'll post it...but if I don't...well it won't be mentioned...lol.

300 days till we get married...

Haha...yes I'm still counting down...and will be for...well 300 more days...lol! I can't believe only 11 more days till Christmas...wow...BUT I finished ALL my Christmas shopping and I'm so excited about that. What a relief! I wrapped a million gifts last night and worked on some of my paintings. I think tonight I'm going to take it easy and prepare all my meals for the upcoming week. This diet is pretty easy to follow when you have everything prepared and you can just grab it and go. My trainer told me to also take Lipo 6 for Hers to help the whole weight loss process...

I've read the reviews for these diet pills and there not all that great...haha...but we'll see. I'll take them for a month and see if there's any difference. At $50 for a month supply these jokers better work!

Well anyways, back to my paintings I'm working on...I have 3 projects going and one of them is almost done, one is done but I don't like it, and the other is completely messed up and I don't want to finish it because I'm a perfectionist and this painting is ANYTHING but perfect looking. I'll definitely post pictures when I'm finished with them.

Today, my church had their annuel Christmas program. It was really good and even though I'm sad they no longer do the living Christmas tree I really did enjoy this one. I used to be so involved in actually helping setup decorations and be apart of it...I was sad I wasn't this year BUT next year I'm going to make it a priority to help out. I can't wait till I can get off Sundays at work. Thankfully I don't have to come in till 11 but still I'm missing a lot and I hate that I can't stay after church and visit with people and go to Sunday school class.

Also, please everyone pray for my mom...she is still looking for a job and really hasn't found any prospects yet. This time of the year is just the worst to be looking for a job. I'm hoping after the 1st of the year positions will come available somewhere. It really makes me thankful for such a great job.

13 Days Until Christmas...

Wow can you believe that? 13 days till Christmas...

I swear time has just been flying by ever since I got out of High School. But lately its been REALLY going fast and I want it to just slow down. Seriously, at this rate I'll be married before you know it. Only 10 more months to go...soon to be 9 months. I'm so glad I've gotten a early start on all this wedding planning stuff. Its weird but I feel stressed even with 10 months to go...haha...like a million lists go through my mind daily from putting down deposits to flowers. I just have to tell myself though that this is a once in a life time event (for me anyways) and that I should take the time to enjoy planning and preparing it. It'll be weird after the wedding...like what happens next??? Haha...then life starts???

I highly recommend everyone to finish school before getting married though. School is consuming and transitioning into such a huge life changing event can be rough when you add school in with it. I'm still debating whether to go back to school. The "plan" is to have James finish and then I'll go back so we can pay for school as we go and not take out loans. I have a feeling though if I do this THEN I won't go back. I know I don't want to start back until at least after the wedding... so Spring of 2011. Plenty of time to figure it out. As long as ONE of us finishes school then I'm not too worried.

So anyways....today me and James had our engagement pictures done at Calotype Photography and it was AWESOME! I really enjoyed the photographer...she was great and she told us exactly how to pose and it was good for us since we have NO clue what we're doing. Next Thursday we are going to look at the proofs and pick out our package. CAN'T WAIT!!!!! I should be able to post pictures after the session...so I'll be sure to post them. Then, we can announce our engagement in the newspapers. One less thing to do on my "to do" list.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping to wrap presents and then finish up on the rest of my Christmas shopping. I'm working on paintings for James mom and his dad and step mom. So I need to go to Hobby Lobby and check out prices for framing these. Also, my mom wants me to finish painting the kitchen...don't know if I'll be able to get to that.

Christmas Fun...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Well I would have to say Hot Chocolate because...well ummm...honestly I've never had Egg Nog...hehe. Maybe this year I'll try it ;)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

Who is this Santa??? When I was a kid we never played into the whole Santa thing...more of the celebration of Jesus birth.

3. Colored lights on house/tree or white lights?

We used to hang colored outside and white on the tree usually BUT next year when me and James have our own house we'll probably just do white.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

Nope, not that I can ever remember. I'm thinking I need to change that this year :)

5. When do you put your decorations up?

Usually the day after Thanksgiving, but this year I couldn't wait that long and it was like the first week in November...haha.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

Ummm...I don't really have a favorite...but my mom does make this concoction every year called "bread in a jar" and I love it!

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?

One Christmas I can remember waking up and running into the living room and I NEVER had seen so many presents in my life. I seriously got EVERYTHING and more I ever wanted that Christmas. I didn't know what to play with first...and that year was also the year I got my first bike, little kitchen set, and easy bake oven.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

I never grew up believing in Santa since my parents always told me he was just for fun.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

ALWAYS! But just one!

10. How do you decorate your tree?

Every year its different...it seems like there is always a theme going...but this year its red and gold.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?

Who doesn't like snow? I LOVE it!

12. Can you ice skate?

Well I can but it seems like every year I have to relearn...

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

That's a hard one...I mean every year I have something that I just love. Like last year James got me Sophie and that was AWESOME! I love love her!!!

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Remembering what Christmas is all about and sharing it with family and friends.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Chocolate covered pretzels :)

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Well when my dad was alive he ALWAYS told us on Christmas Eve the story about Jesus birth and the reason for Christmas. Also, every year when we woke up our stockings were at the end of our beds....with an Apple...haha...

17. What tops your Christmas tree?

Ribbon

18. Which do you prefer-giving or receiving?

Oh I absolutely LOVE giving gifts. I always try to give the best gifts!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

Well this year it has to be the song Mariah Carey sings "All I want for Christmas"

20. Candy Canes-yum or yuck?

Yummo! I love ALL kinds of Candy Canes.

21. What do you want for Christmas?

Well all I really wanted was a digital camera AND I got it...it was an early gift :)

22. Do you attend an annual Christmas party?

Not really...

23. Do you dress up on Christmas or wear PJs?

Oh definitely PJ's and I usually even wear them to my grandparents...haha!

24. Do you own a Santa hat?

Yes!

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with?

Well usually after we open presents at our house we go to my grandparents and have an early lunch and open presents there and then come home and do a dinner. This year though I'll be with James family until Christmas morning I'll be getting up early and picking up Michelle and heading back to Fayetteville to my grandparents.

I'm back!!!!

So I just got back to Fayetteville and its good to be back. I missed my family! So I drove down Sunday to Little Rock and me and Michelle went shopping and hung out that night. The next day I drove to Nashville and visited James family. Me and his mom went to lunch and gabbed everything wedding...I picked out my cake!!!! I'm in LOVE with it! Unfortunately, yesterday went fast and before I knew it I had to head back to Little Rock. Today I decided to come home early because I didn't want to take a chance with the weather and everything....but I did take a few pictures the past few days....


My beautiful cake!

Princess (Michelle's puppy)
Driving on the interstate I got a lovely gift
from the truck ahead of me. (Yes, thats a
crack in my windshield)
What Michelle did most of the time...yes thats a
Twilight book...ugh...haha...
ME holding the puppies Princess and Piggy :)
Lastly, Toby...who is my favorite!!!!

New Header and Edward Cullen...

Ok so I FINALLY figured out how to do my own header. I didn't want to pay $30 for someone to create one for me since I'm cheap like that. So after much playing around with clip art and paint I got what I wanted.

Well I met with another travel agent today. I've realized that they can be really some what of a rip off. The only GOOD thing is they take care of all the booking hassle but I think for what I'll be saving I can deal with it and find something on my own but now the real question is WHERE should we go...my head is spinning with Mexico, Caribbeans, Bahamas, Bermuda, Aruba, Jamaica, and ect ect.

Anyways, now I'm going to vent about something that is about to drive me crazy and thats TWILIGHT and the guy everyone is obsessed with Edward Cullen. Ok first its a movie and a book...NOT real life!!!! So I don't get why girls are so OBSESSED with the character Edward Cullen because he's not real!!!! Secondly, I've never been someone that likes fictional stories about vampires or fairy's or anything like that. I like movies and books about REAL life...call me unimaginative if you want...I don't care!!! This is my blog and I'll say whatever I want...haha. I refuse ABSOLUTELY refuse to watch the movie or read the books. Thirdly, Edward Cullen is so FUGLY!!!!! If I have to hear one more person go on about Edward Cullen I'm going to SHOOT myself....AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I'm done venting about that :) ....

Look what I got tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So James got me a digital camera as an early Christmas present!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! I've been wanting one so long and FINALLY I got one. Its so cute and small and I love the fact its purple. Now watch...I'm going to become a picture addict. I can't wait to use it this weekend when I go out of town!

Ready for more SNOW!!!!!!!

I was so happy that it was snowing Sunday but then I realized it wasn't sticking and that it was going to melt by the next day. Booo!!!! I'm ready for a good snow...like at least 5 inches...and all the schools closed!!!! But my car did at least get a dusting...

So we finished our tree for our CDP Tree Competition!!! I'm so happy with the way it turned out.... This picture isn't the best that I took...see how much I need a digital camera???

Anyways, tonight is Biggest Loser and I'm sure me and everyone else will be praying that the evil Vicky gets voted off! She's a Loser but not the Biggest Loser...haha

I'm so excited for the weekend to come. I'm going to Nashville to see James mom and sister and spend the day with them. Then I'm heading to Little Rock to stay with Michelle till Tuesday....and having a coffee date while I'm down there with McKenna...yay!!! What fun!!!! How I miss my best friends...BUT this month all my bridesmaids are getting together for a road trip and dress fittings so I can actually spend some time with them before they all go back to school. So I can't wait for that!!!

Things are starting to get really busy as far as wedding planning is going...I know I know...I still have like 9 more months to go. BUT I have gotten the Chapel booked for the ceremony, Church booked for the reception, Hotel Rooms reserved, Caterer booked, and almost have our Honeymoon booked! So I'm doing pretty well so far...and I'd rather get everything done early then wait till the last minute and be stressed. Anyways, this month we are having our engagement pictures taken and put in the newspaper, bridesmaid dresses picked out, and have our honeymoon booked.